3到5分鐘英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
3到5分鐘英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強(qiáng),普遍存在于人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進(jìn)身體健康。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享3到5分鐘英語(yǔ)笑話，希望可以幫助大家!
3到5分鐘英語(yǔ)笑話：Don't You Like Any of Our Colours Today?
Mrs. Green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.
She did not drive fast，because she was old，but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her，“Please don't drive your car，grandmother. We can take you to the shops.”
But she always said，“No，I like driving. I've driven for fifty years，and I'm not going to stop now.”
Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. The lights were green，then yellow，then red，
then green again，but her car did not start.
“What am I going to do now?” She said.
But then a policeman came and said to her kindly，“Good morning. Don't you like any of our colours today?”
格林太太八十歲了。她有一輛小型轎車，每逢星期六她總是開著這輛車去購(gòu)買食品。
因?yàn)槟昙o(jì)大了，格林太太車子開得不快，不過(guò)她開車技術(shù)很高，從來(lái)沒有出過(guò)事。有時(shí)她的孫子孫女們對(duì)她說(shuō)：“奶奶，您別開車了，我們可以送您去商店。”
但她總是說(shuō)：“不，我喜歡開車。我已經(jīng)開了五十年了，現(xiàn)在還不想撒手。”
上星期六，她看見交通燈是紅色就剎住了車。后來(lái)車子熄火了。交通燈由綠色轉(zhuǎn)為黃色，然后轉(zhuǎn)為紅色，又轉(zhuǎn)變?yōu)榫G色，可她的車子還是發(fā)動(dòng)不起來(lái)。
“現(xiàn)在我該怎么辦呢?”她說(shuō)。
這時(shí)一位警察走過(guò)來(lái)，和氣地對(duì)她說(shuō)：“早上好，今天交通燈的顏色沒有一樣您喜歡嗎?”
3到5分鐘英語(yǔ)笑話：開窗
A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down."Open it again," said the second lady, "I'll die of suffocation(窒息，悶死) if there is no fresh air.""I won't open it," said the first lady, "I'll die of cold if the window is open."A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:"Let's have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."
解決問(wèn)題的好辦法 一位紳士正靜靜地坐在頭等包廂里，有兩位女士走了進(jìn)來(lái)。其中一位見窗戶開著，就在落坐之前把窗戶“把窗戶打開，”第二位女士說(shuō)道，“如果沒有新鮮空氣，我會(huì)被憋死的。” “不能打開，”第一位說(shuō)道，“如果它開著，我會(huì)被凍死的。” 一場(chǎng)爭(zhēng)吵開始，沒完沒了，直到那位紳士開口： “我們先讓窗戶關(guān)著，直到把這位女士憋死，然后再打開窗戶，直到把這位女士?jī)鏊?。那以后，這兒就可以恢復(fù)平靜了。”
3到5分鐘英語(yǔ)笑話：Virtue
Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to the State University of New York at Binghamton as a faculty member. One day in a crowded elevator, someone remarked on its inefficiency. I said the elevators had not changed in the 20 years since I began there as a student.
When the door finally opened, I felt a compassionate pat on my back, and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get that degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."
美 德
獲取研究生學(xué)位多年以后，我回到位于賓翰頓的紐約州立大學(xué)當(dāng)教員。一天，電梯里很擁擠，有人抱怨電梯效率太低。我說(shuō)自我在那里當(dāng)學(xué)生起，20年來(lái)電梯一直沒有換過(guò)。
最后當(dāng)電梯門打開時(shí)，我感到有人在我的背上同情地拍了一下，回過(guò)頭來(lái)我看到一位年長(zhǎng)的修女正在朝我微笑。“你會(huì)拿到學(xué)位的，親愛的，”她低聲說(shuō)道：“堅(jiān)持不懈是一種美德。”
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